Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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