is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
