Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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