Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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