Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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