i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
