I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
