She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
