i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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