Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
