i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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