marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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