Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
