i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
