you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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