New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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