no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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