is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize