just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
