this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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