On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
