I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
