I got chris browned last night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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