? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
