I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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