How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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