I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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