Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Randomize
