I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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