and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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