The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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