Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
