i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
