I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
