I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
