Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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