I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
