I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
420 ftw
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
