did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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