the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
