At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
