We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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