yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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