On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
