im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
