I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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