You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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