i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
