i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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