K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
actually, I'm a sock model
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize