This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
