Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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