can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
