i think my mom watched the whole time
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
