You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
