I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
