If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
