he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
