Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
