..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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