there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize