My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
