Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
