It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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